Apple to announce a hologram playing iPod
Apple is planning yet another new product news event, scheduled for Wednesday, October 19.
In what has become a whirlwind of product announcements over the last two months, following September 7's iPod nano, and October 12's video iPod and iTunes 6, Apple has promised yet again to aggresively consign last week's iPod to the annals of planned obsolescence.
Highly placed sources within Apple have said on condition of anonymity that October 19's announcement will bring us a hologram playing iPod.
While the new iPod is better than last week's iPod in every way, with a thinner form factor, a 2.75 inch screen, and longer battery life, it's main attraction is it's new three-dimensional projection abilities.
The new iPod will use virtual bioluminescent oblonoid technology to produce three-dimensional movies, projected to a point in space about 5 feet in front of the iPod's lumitter. The new iPod is said to also contain complete DVR functionality, allowing it to capture TV shows directly through a cable-to-dock connector adapter, along with the ability to intelligently translate 2-D TV broadcasts into 3-D images suitable for holographic viewing.
Accompanying the new iPod will be iTunes 7, which will include hologram import and conversion functions, as well as holopodcast authoring tools.
When asked how this rapid product cycle will affect customer loyalty, our Apple source was unsympathetic.
"We understand that some customers are pretty ticked off at us right now. After all, they waited until after the September 7 product announcement to make sure the new player wasn't a video iPod before buying a new 20GB or 60GB iPod, only to find out shortly thereafter that they could have waited another 5 weeks and gotten a more compact iPod with longer battery life and video capabilities for the same price."
"Likewise, there are thousands of new video iPod owners who will be pretty upset that they could have waited 7 more days for a bigger and better iPod for the same price. But the fact is, we already have their money, so we don't really see how they are relevant to our product planning."
In what has become a whirlwind of product announcements over the last two months, following September 7's iPod nano, and October 12's video iPod and iTunes 6, Apple has promised yet again to aggresively consign last week's iPod to the annals of planned obsolescence.
Highly placed sources within Apple have said on condition of anonymity that October 19's announcement will bring us a hologram playing iPod.
While the new iPod is better than last week's iPod in every way, with a thinner form factor, a 2.75 inch screen, and longer battery life, it's main attraction is it's new three-dimensional projection abilities.
The new iPod will use virtual bioluminescent oblonoid technology to produce three-dimensional movies, projected to a point in space about 5 feet in front of the iPod's lumitter. The new iPod is said to also contain complete DVR functionality, allowing it to capture TV shows directly through a cable-to-dock connector adapter, along with the ability to intelligently translate 2-D TV broadcasts into 3-D images suitable for holographic viewing.
Accompanying the new iPod will be iTunes 7, which will include hologram import and conversion functions, as well as holopodcast authoring tools.
When asked how this rapid product cycle will affect customer loyalty, our Apple source was unsympathetic.
"We understand that some customers are pretty ticked off at us right now. After all, they waited until after the September 7 product announcement to make sure the new player wasn't a video iPod before buying a new 20GB or 60GB iPod, only to find out shortly thereafter that they could have waited another 5 weeks and gotten a more compact iPod with longer battery life and video capabilities for the same price."
"Likewise, there are thousands of new video iPod owners who will be pretty upset that they could have waited 7 more days for a bigger and better iPod for the same price. But the fact is, we already have their money, so we don't really see how they are relevant to our product planning."
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